Creed of the Credulous
by DCDave

A Yale undergraduate, his cup already brimming over with knowledge and self-assurance, prompted the penning of the following parody with his own stone-cold serious profession of faith. He gave voice, I fear, to the beliefs of millions. I can imagine them, gathered weekly, reciting:


I believe in the almighty American press; and in our political leaders, chosen through the system conceived by our founding fathers, suffered under Watergate, and rose again from the experience more trustworthy than ever.

I believe the Watergate lesson is that our freedom is protected by the anointed who stand in watch on our behalf, the only exception being those fired with an excess of zeal to see another president brought low at their hands.

I believe our leaders incapable of sin that would not be exposed by the media.

I believe that those who would deny these revelations are not human. They are creatures. They are conspiracy theorists.


David Martin

September 7, 1998

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